Icebreakers · Get-to-Know-You

True Confession Toothpicks

An entertaining way to learn about people through what they haven't done, not just what they have.

IcebreakerRapportPersonal Sharing

Duration: 15 min
Participants: 1–5, 5–10, 10–20, 20–50, 50+
Energy: Low
Difficulty: Beginner
Materials: Minimal
Prep time: 5 minutes

2 min read · Delivery: Offline

Overview

Purpose. An entertaining way to learn about people through what they haven't done, not just what they have.

When to use. In the first 15 minutes of a session, once names are known and the group is settling in.

Best for. Any group size, in person.

Facilitator preparation

Gather: 10 toothpicks or small counters per participant.

Room setup. Arrange seating so everyone can see and hear each other clearly.

Virtual setup. This works best in person. If you must run it virtually, have participants track their count on paper or in chat instead of physical toothpicks.

Hybrid setup. Give remote participants the same paper or chat-based tally.

Materials. 10 toothpicks/counters per person

How to Conduct

Give each participant 10 toothpicks or small counters.
Explain the format: each person, in turn, shares something they've never done, for example “I've never jaywalked.”
Anyone in the group who HAS done that thing gives up one toothpick to a shared pile in the middle.
Continue around the room, each person sharing a new “I've never…” statement.
The activity naturally winds down once a few people are running low on toothpicks, or after a set number of rounds. See Trainer's Reference below.

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THE GROUP

Most groups laugh within the first minute; that's a good sign, not a distraction.

Trainer's Reference: setting a practical stopping point

The original version ends when someone loses all ten toothpicks, but with a larger group this can take a long time, or never quite happen. It works just as well to simply set a time limit, 10 rounds or 10 minutes, and see who has the fewest toothpicks left when time's up.

After the activity

DEBRIEF QUESTIONS

What part of “True Confession Toothpicks” felt easy, and what part felt harder than expected?
Did anyone's ‘never’ statement surprise the room more than expected?

REFLECTION QUESTIONS